Nobody’s Okay
Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, said on Friday that social distancing would likely have to continue for “several weeks.”
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“I cannot see that all of a sudden, next week or two weeks from now, it’s going to be over,” he said in an interview with the Today show. “I don’t think there’s a chance of that.”
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The next two weeks will be “absolutely critical” for containing the virus, Elaine Morrato, dean of the Parkinson School of Health Sciences and Public Health at Loyola University Chicago, told Business Insider.
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“Fifteen days of aggressive social distancing is necessary, but will not be sufficient,” she said. “The evidence from other nations is clear: Longer periods of time will be needed to reverse the tide.” – excerpt taken from https://www.businessinsider.com/coronavirus-white-house-15-day-plan-too-short-2020-3
Where were YOU a year ago? I was trying to figure out how to work from home, not at my house. My house was unavailable because my husband and three school-aged kids were there, for at least the next 14 days.
On that weekend, I started this giant outdoor landscaping project that involved moving-by-hand, 5 TON of 12-16” rocks. Why? Because COVID-19 was officially in mid-Missouri and I had no idea what to do with myself.
To say the rug was ripped out from underneath us, is an understatement, don’t you agree? There was no toilet paper or hand sanitizer to be found on the Hy-Vee shelves OR on Amazon. We were digging through our drawers to find some kind of material suitable for a “face mask.” Everything became a question – do we go here, do that, see our friends, eat inside that restaurant, cancel the trip?
We were not okay.
Fast-forward a few months and not much had changed, but everything had changed all at the same time. It had become normal to question every move, every breath; to “log on” instead of “walk in;” to turn that Friday-night-happy-hour into an everyday-happy-hour.
The extrovert in me was shrinking inside. I had trouble catching my breath more often than not. Being around people and noise had always been life-giving to me, and a year ago, life was doing a lot more taking than giving. How honored I was to sit and hear story after story of “…when COVID started,” and how crushing the grief and exhaustion and numbness was at the same time.
By August, everyone knew the kids weren’t going back to school, even if the decision hadn’t been voiced yet. Most places of work weren’t going to reopen, and restaurants had figured out how to capitalize on curbside pick-up. Face masks had become a fashionable accessory, Zoom had become the preferred method of communication, and potential future-vaccine manufacturers were highly sought after on Wall Street.
We were all okay. And nobody was okay.
Okay had been redefined. Okay meant I wasn’t on a ventilator struggling to breathe. Okay meant I had figured out how to figure out how to do my job at the same time as being a mom of kids who were home alone all day, every day. Okay meant I had figured out how to interact with my friends NOT face-to-face. Okay meant getting real comfortable with the feelings of loss and sadness, wonder and apprehension, anger and hope that was not yet present.
Where are we now? Where am I now? Well, I’m at work. Sometimes I meet with people via Zoom and sometimes we mask-up in my office. My kids are at school today, and my oldest will be there until tomorrow – then home again for the rest of the week. I have two doses of the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine in my system and I still get excited when I hear reports of “20,000 more people vaccinated today.”
I care about and mourn with people I’ve never met, but feel like I know. I live in the reality that for-real, no one knows what tomorrow will bring. I wave at my neighbors and wonder what life was like for them this past year. I dream about neighborhood block parties that take place in my backyard, rather than from 10 separate driveways.
This past year taught me that nobody’s okay – and there’s comfort in being not-okay together. I learned that there is value in being outdoors whenever possible. I learned it’s important to vote. I learned science matters and is awe-inspiring! I learned there are a lot of voices out there and it’s important to “take what you like and leave the rest” (Al-Anon slogan). I learned that most people are genuinely kind and even when not, their motives are to BE kind. I learned that family is who you make it to be, and that life just keeps on going.
I guess it’s okay not to be okay.
Written by Lauren Eisleben