Do I have a problem?

Let me start by saying I don’t like using the word, “problem,” and I would never actually say to someone, “You have a problem.” However, I want to honor the number of people who come to me asking, “Do I have a problem?” by titling this post as such 😉

When asked this question, I typically respond with something like, “You may have a behavior that is causing problems, but I bet there’s a function to it.” After a skeptical look, we start exploring together.

Alcohol is a tricky substance.

It’s socially acceptable, and even expected sometimes – socially and professionally
It’s accessible – gas station, grocery store, curbside pickup, a neighbor’s garage, the cooler at a sporting event; and spanning the price range of $.99 up to hundreds of dollars for those “special occasions.” You’ll always find what you’re looking for.
It’s efficient! You can feel less tired or more tired or less bored and more fun or less talkative or the life-of-the-party depending on the day, time, your mood, how much you ate that day, the list goes on and on.
It’s generally okay to consume just as you would a soda. Until it’s not.

We’ll pick up at the “until it’s not.” If you’ve been curious about your drinking pattern (and I promise, there’s a pattern), but aren’t convinced it’s actually a “problem,” here are some ways you can self-assess for something that may need attention.

Physical tolerance and dependence

Do I find myself craving the taste of my favorite drink around the time I usually drink it? How many times a day or week do I notice this? What do I like about this taste?
How do things go when I don’t drink at the time I typically do, if you drink daily? Do I feel any physical symptoms like shakiness, headache, stomach ache, fatigue?
What’s the relationship between drinking alcohol and eating, or is there one? How do I feel different when I drink while eating or drink without eating? Do I have a preference?
When I drink to my definition of excess, what’s my body feel like a few hours afterward, or the next day? Do I immediately want another? Do I actually need another to calm down physical symptoms in my body? Do I “never want to drink again?” because of how I feel physically?
Do I need more (quantity) every so often and that “more” becomes the “new norm?” This is the idea of tolerance. When the brain and body get used to the typical amount of alcohol we drink, it may require more to keep up its function for us.

Notice the above questions are mostly open-ended – no “check yes or no” quiz-style questions. The reason for this is because alcohol, while acceptable, accessible, and efficient, is incredibly complex. When we experience some sort of physical dependence on alcohol, even if we can self-manage it, this lets us know there’s a physiological function of alcohol within our body. It can also remind us that there may be a biological function of alcohol, too, especially if family members have or had similar experiences when they drink. And everybody is different – even our own body changes frequently! So, “yes” or “no” won’t usually get us far enough in our exploration of ourselves and our pattern.

Emotional tolerance or dependence

No one is too thrilled to look at the role alcohol plays in managing our emotions; as humans, we prefer to handle things “on our own,” especially our feelings. However, alcohol does trigger certain neuroreceptors in our brain, therefore, part of its function IS to help us soothe uncomfortable emotions or liven up if we tend to be more quiet and isolated. Here are some questions you can ask yourself as you gauge the emotional function of your drinking pattern:

Do I tend to drink socially or alone more often? Why? Has it always been like this? If there’s been a change in this pattern, I encourage you to look a little more closely at the ‘why’ behind the change.
Is there an uncomfortable feeling that drinking helps me not feel or lessens? Fear, sadness, loneliness, boredom, or a general feeling of being “unproductive” are common feelings that come up in my office when talking about drinking (or exploring drinking less).
Do I drink to celebrate? How? Any particular celebration or more of an end-of-day reward for working hard?
When did I start drinking more regularly? What was going on in my life at that time?
Are there specific people that I like to drink with or definitely do NOT like to drink with?
What’s my favorite thing about drinking?
What would I miss the most if I decided to stop drinking, for whatever reason?

Here’s the deal. Regardless of how you answered each question in either or both sections, the real thing to pay attention to is how it was, how it felt, to go through the self-assessment process. Did you find it hard to focus? Are you excited to learn more about yourself and your relationship with alcohol? Did you stop after the first or second question because you didn’t like where you were heading? Do you feel stuck? Do you wonder what comes next? Maybe you are saying “What do I do now?” Or, “Whew, I am okay where I am.”

Your experience reading this post and answering questions is neither good or bad, right or wrong. You’re just gathering information to explore something that is familiar to you and maybe something you’ve been thinking about more often lately. One thing I’ve learned in walking through this process with people is that you WILL know what to do next; if you need to call and ask for someone to listen as you bounce off ideas, if you need to continue doing what you’re doing with a little more focus, or if you need to ask someone to help you get help, whatever that looks like for you.

Feel free to Contact Us if that seems like a good next step for you. And go see Inside Out 2 if you get the chance! You’ll understand my plug and how it relates after you watch it 😉